Synchronized Universe| The Strange Suicide of Ronald Opus

Strange Universe

March 23, 1994 RIP

Ronald Opus

Synchronized Universe| The Strange Suicide of Ronald Opus

March 23, 1994

It was the habit of the old man, when in an argument with his old wife, to grab his shotgun and wave it at her in a threatening manner.  Sometimes, he even aimed it straight at her and pulled the trigger.  That’s why he never put any ammunition in it.

They lived together in an apartment on the ninth floor of a ten story building with a son who witnessed these shotgun shenanigans many, many times.  So when the old lady cut off the son’s financial support, and unbeknownst to the old man, the son loaded the shotgun and waited.   He hated them both; two birds with one stone.

So imagine the shock for the old man when six weeks later, there he was, for the millionth time, waving that shotgun at his wife.  She was running past of one of the windows as the old man raised the gun and aimed it at her, incoherently ranting and trembling with rage… for the millionth time.  But for the very first time, as he pulled the trigger, a burst of buckshot came exploding out from the muzzle.  It was only because he was trembling with fury that he missed her and the shot went straight out the window.

The old man stood frozen in place as his mind struggled to process all that had just happened.  He knew that gun had no ammo, but that was the least of his problems.  His mind was stuck on something else; that the body of a man had flown by the window just as the buckshot flew through it.   He ran to the window and looked down to see the lifeless body of an apparently young man caught by a safety net at the eighth floor level.  The net had been left in place by a window washing crew that was coming to finish up the next day.

Which is why the young man, who was intent on committing suicide that day in March ’94, did not know the futility of his attempt  and did not expect a net to be there and thus jumped from the floor above the old couple.  He died, not from falling, but from the shots that came through the window just as his head passed… that came from a gun which was thought to be unloaded, but was surreptitiously loaded by an enraged son trying to murder his mother by making good use of his father’s cartoon like behavior.

It was later learned that Ronald Opus, our deceased jumper, had attempted on multiple occasions to arrange the murder of his own mother, and having failed, decided to part from her the only way he could.  He would have survived but for the other young man trying to kill his mother and some exquisite synchronization in our universe.

The irony of this is simply overpowering.    But alas, dear reader, this story is just an urban legend. It did sound unlikely, did it not?